Winter Break - Utah!

On December 23rd we loaded up the truck with too much stuff and the little ones and headed to vacation! Our first stop was Emmett Idaho to drop off Mitch and Winter with my in-laws. It was my first time to visit their new place and of course got a tour. The next day Randy made a batch of cinnamon rolls and then we drove south to spend some time with my family in Utah. (We found out later that Mitch stole 2 of them off the baking sheet when everyone was outside- naughty dog!) About a half hour after we arrived everyone went over to the Redfords' for dinner and funny Christmas games. It felt good to laugh and laugh. I heard new stories from my parents about silly things they did when they were growing up. Afterwards, Dad read us the Christmas story from Luke 2.

Christmas morning involved eating cinnamon rolls, fruit, orange rolls, opening presents, and playing games. That evening we went to the Grubbard's for a family party on my Mom's side. My cousins are starting to leave Utah and move across the country, but luckily most of them were there and I was able to visit with them for a bit.

Friday morning my entire family went to the Ogden temple. I think this is the first time for all 7 of us to be in the temple at the same time. Jason, Ashley, Randy, and Dad did baptisms while Mom, Chantel, and I did initiatories. It is always wonderful to spend time in the House of the Lord. That afternoon we raced Go-Karts with my Uncle Spencer and my cousins Ethan and Elizabeth. I was nervous at first about how fast I could take the corners, but once we got going I had a blast! Randy finished first and I finished third. That evening Mom and I went to Kohls for a bit of shopping to look for clothes suitable for fourth year. We found a bunch of blouses on sale and left the store only spending 15$! Deseret Industries some times has good clothes for cheap and we needed some White Elephant gifts for the Sheets Christmas Party so we went there next. I found a brand new pair of dress pants from Nordstrom that still had the original tags on them that fit me! The original price was $188, but I got them for $20!

Saturday we drove up to Hareware Ranch for a wagon ride. The Ranch is run by the Division of Natural Resources and is an Elk Feeding ground. In the summer they hay a bunch of meadows and in the winter they feed that hay to the elk with horse and wagon. We took a 15 minute ride through the elk and learned a bit more about their program. I was happy to hear they do some disease surveillance.  That evening my dear friend Maria, Randy and I took the Frontrunner to Salt Lake City to see the lights at temple square. The lights are incredible - there are literally millions of them! We had a grand time visiting and drinking amazing hot chocolate.

Sunday evening we had a party at my parents house for the Sheets side. I enjoyed catching up with my family. We did a White Elephant exchange and had a bundle of laughs. I ended up with fettuccine noodles and Randy stole "In Case of Emergency Break Glass" frame with a chocolate bar.

Monday morning came and it was time to head back to Emmett to spend time with Randy's family. We stopped for lunch at a little cafe called Upper Crust that Randy found while working in the Burley area.

Ramblings (A lot of them)

Last week my dad and Grandpa Sheets came for a day to put on our new roof! And just in time since the rain just keeps coming. This was the first time Grandpa has been to our house. I was able to show him around school and he thought Mitch and Winter were hilarious.

I attended a lunch lecture this last week about equine infectious diseases worldwide and what is being  done to try to halt disease from spreading. One of my professors traveled to Ethiopia last year for a conference on this subject. Many people make their living using cart horses to transport anything they can find - people, bricks, construction materials, food, etc. Most of these horses are slim and some are very thin. The owners do not have the funds to pay for vaccines, routine health care, commercially made tack (they make saddles, bits, bridles out of whatever they can find), or proper hoof care let alone well built homes. They are living on less then $2 per day. There are several outreach groups that are providing treatment, vaccines, and education free of charge to the owners of these horses. This presentation reminded me just how much I have to be thankful for. I have never known want, I have never gone hungry for more then a few hours, I have clean water, a warm place to call home, a sewer system that works, animals that are companions, a wonderful education, the gospel of Jesus Christ, a loving husband, strong family support, good friends- what on earth could I possibly complain about???? What more could I possibly want or need?

I am humiliated to say that I can come up with more. This week Randy was offered a job working for University of Idaho working with Sage Grouse in a similar area to where he was earlier this year. So once again, my Randy is leaving me. I know I should be grateful that he continually acquires field jobs that will hopefully allow him to find a full time permanent job or get into graduate school. I am one of the lucky girls in my class that gets to live with her husband for 6 to 7 months a year, and not only see him for a few days during breaks for the 4 years.  But I am so tired to being left. I want to start a family, but I'm not sure if that will ever be possible with us constantly living apart and me going to school or work full time (since I have racked up quite a debt load). I am so tired of being hopeful that something is going to work out to have it come crashing down. I am tired of not being excited about what I am learning. This semester has beaten me up and spit me back out again. It has made me question why did I ever want this to begin with. What is it that is so wonderful about vet med that is worth all of this effort and sacrifice? The song 'Done' by The Band Perry is a near perfect description about how I feel about this semester.  

Then there is actual clinical practice of vet med. I probably read too many blog posts about how difficult it is to be a vet and a normal human being. 'You can never please anyone' seems to be the biggest complaint. Clients blaming you for only caring about the money, working late every day of the week and weekends, not having time to properly care for a family, the list goes on. Since I haven't made it there yet, I can't say I have had these experiences, but they don't seem too outrageous. I realize I don't want to work overnights, weekends, or emergencies all the time. Does that make me a bad/lazy veterinarian? I don't want my kids raised in day care.  This would be much easier if I didn't go to vet school. Then we could go where ever Randy got a job, I could stay home and raise our family. But for some reason I was strongly prompted to apply for vet school at WSU. As Randy won't let me forget, I am supposed to be here. I thought I knew why, but now I am not so sure. I can't see why Heavenly Father would ask me to do something that 'seems' to go against what I have been taught. I can't see how it is possible to be a good wife, mother, friend, daughter, veterinarian, and pay off my student loans. There does not seem to be enough time to do all those things well.

My sweet Randy keeps reminding me there is a reason, that everything will work out, don't give up, and to remain faithful. A blogpost from Veterinarians Behaving Badly, has become one of my favorites. It is formatted as a letter to a new grad and if you want to read it you can find it here. The author says 'Focus on the animals... remember you will have limitations... our profession rocks... you are a healer... do not let this job take over your life...'. Slowly I may be able to find my passion for vet med. Hopefully spending time with family and not cramming for exams will give allow my exhausted brain to find my reason why.